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Bipolar is not black and white by hiritai Bipolar is not black and white by hiritai
Bipolar disorder has been a struggle with me since my early teens. I've been all over. From admission to hospital, to even denying the damn disorder existed.

When I was fourteen, for a good while, I thought everyone thought I was on drugs. It's was irrational and exaggerated, and I ended up running away from school midway through a science class, flailing and screaming like I was on something. I had teachers chasing after me, and one of them ended up finding me hiding in a park. My dad came and got me, and we walked home together. He'd ridden his bike from work to pick me up. I'll never forget how calm he was about it. Probably because this kind of thing happened a lot.

A few months later I was in hospital on suicide watch.

I missed the tenth grade. My attendance record was abandoned, and I passed out of sympathy.

This example of my experience is shadowed by millions of lives. Fortunately I was incredibly lucky and had contsant support and a *cough* reasonably early diagnosis. It can take years for a correct diagnosis and treatment. For example, if diagnosed with depression, as so many of us were, anti depressants can actually induce manic episodes. Treatment can make things better or worse.

Stephen Fry did a great documentary, The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive. You can watch it here. Sharing you own personal experience also helps others to share theirs, and can paint a better picture and understanding, not just for those without the illness, but for those just looking to understand their illness, and how others might deal with it.

I think we've screamed 'You don't understand!' more times than we've liked to. So please understand that bipolar can be much more than simple up and downs, and, like ever mental illness, that each case is different. It is not funny or cool, or an excuse to be hyperactive or bitchy.

Sharing my personal experience is not meaning to sound arrogant, I'm simply sharing it to prove a point, as my experience is the most valid one I know considering the context. Sympathy is not something that cures anything, but please do try to understand that people with mental illnesses are each different people with different opinions. We are not all the same, and justly are not affected the same, or accept it the same.

*twirls back into a cave*
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Daily Deviation

Given 2010-06-19
Bipolar is not black and white by =hiritai makes a statement that everyone should understand. Bipolar-ism is not a black and white disease. Days can very from very good to very bad. Not everyone is the same or handles the disorder the same way and people need to realize that as well.

[dA related > Deviant Stamps] ( Suggested by kyofanatic1 and Featured by ginkgografix )
Lugia20711 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Student Writer
I'm glad you got the help you needed.

Being Bipolar isn't black and white. It is multiple shades of grey and a lifelong battle.
EvilPlushToy Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
A lot of art i see seems to ignore this, or they just don't know, so thank you for making this
pokepall Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I TOTALLY understand I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 4. (I'm 17 now and i will be 18 in 9 months)
Sparky-the-Scraggy Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have BiPolar also.... IT really isn't fun, especially when I'm at my major lows, crying like a fucking baby on my bed and wondering why no one else is awake at 3 AM to talk to me when I'm depressed, staring at my pill bottle of BiPolar and Depression pills that I'm still not taking....
It's not fun, funny or anything of the sort.
SirenaUrbana11 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I may not have the disorder myself, but that doesn't make me less sympathetic or empathetic for those who do. It is a difficult thing to live with. :(
monkeyrockla Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It really isnt
okbrightstar Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If only it was black and white, things would be so much more straight forward. I was diagnosed a year ago thanks to a psychotic break that landed me in hospital for three weeks. I'm still learning to come to grips with it. Thank you for posting this :)
wideawa18 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
The sad truth is that it's tough to distinguish unipolar from bipolar depression and vice versa. Mania is a bit more obvious, but could still be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. What makes it even more tricky is that bipolar disorder emerges typically during the late teen or young adult years, but kids can have it too. (How do you tell whether your kid is suffering from bad parenting or a psychological disorder?)
I do think that the mental health system could use some drastic improvements. It needs better funding and organization to learn about treatments and reach people who need it. And as a patient, I hate it when hospital staff treat you like a five year old. Some hospitals and psychiatrists are better than others.
CatalystSpark Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012   General Artist
If only more understood this. "It's all in your head, you can change it!" . . .yea, right, they wouldn't say that if they lived just one day in our shoes. We don't want pity, pity is a crutch, but, we do need understanding. . .society seems no longer able to tell the two apart. . .
blackwolfjashinist Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I hate when my bipolar acts up ,and I had to go to the hospital ,because a voice in my head was telling me to kill myself. I hate one of my friends now ,because she lies about commiting suicide. My friends say they are bipolar to ,but they don't. They don't know what it's like being afraid of yourself ,and wondering who your going to hurt next ,and never knowing if the voice will return. They dont know how it feels to find out you fabricated memories ,because you were so sad ,or being afraid you'll hurt yourself. I'm afraid of who I've become. I've gotten more irritable ;because my medicine isnt fully kicked in ,and scared my friend by saying something that was so true it scared me. I hate what this disease has done to me ,and I hate who I've become.
hikikomorihime Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Here's another good link: [link]

I have a hard time getting people too understand. A lot of my friends self-diagnose themselves with it, because they are all, "OMG, I have moodswings too!" But it's not that simple. It's not like I'm oh gee happy one moment sad the next. It's like, for weeks/months/more I'll be either in a deep pit of depression unable to do many simple daily tasks for myself. Then there is the other side of the coin, where for weeks/months/more I'll be off the walls, euphoric, paranoid, flights of thought and ideas that all seem amazingly great at the time. I do stupid things, from blowing money, to the point that I can no longer be in charge of my own money. I have a power of attorney who handles things for me, due to the fact I've gotten in some financial trouble during manic episodes...

I've been accussed of just being "hyperactive" or "bitchy" by my terrible terrible friends before, but they don't understand, I'm not really feeling hyperactive or bitchy. I'm either feeling like a complete lack of control, or I just short tempered because I'm so miserable and I just want to kill myself and I'm constantly having to fight that urge. They don't even know how OCD works. They watched that damn Monk show, and that makes them experts. Never mind the fact that I've been diagnosed with OCD because I OBSESSIVELY think about suicide, picturing various ways I'd do it... and then COMPULSIVELY clean and organize to keep from acting on said obsessive thoughts.

Of course, almost all of them are armchair shrinks, with pretend degrees from the university of google/wikipedia/webmd/etc. So that means they get to go around diagnosing people, and challenging diagnoses made by our doctors.
rubyrouge649 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sadly, I used to think that it was black and white. Thank goodness I researched about the disorder before jumping to any more conclusions :+fav:
hiritai Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012
Aw, reading this made me tear up a bit. I really appreciate your honesty and your wisdom. Thankyou! <3
rubyrouge649 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm happy to see that I've made such an impact on somebody. I'm honestly flattered, thank YOU <3
BK-20179 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012  Student General Artist
i could say that i'm bipolar,having several mood swings and can hardly sleep(not that is relevant),but i never been diagnosed with it
every single day i spent hiding my depression(even when i'm alone),and that invoked maniac episodes that sometimes lasted for a whole day and sometimes a few minutes,i feel everyone is judging me even though i'm not,i am forcefully living entirely out of everyone else's expectation
TwasBrillig11235 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is very close to how I function. I was just diagnosed with Bipolar II this summer. It differs from Bipolar I in that the depressions are longer and deeper, while the highs are less intense then full on mania (but close) and much quicker. It is considered as serious as Bipolar I, however it responds better to anti depressants. Talk to your doctor about it.
letrosesburn Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
xXxSKetCHyxXx Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I got diagnosed 2 year ago with bipolar depression. I get so depressed sometimes for weeks at a time and I can only describe it as hands rubbing on tissue of the heart it tuggs lightly and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. I stop talking to people and have anxiety attacks.. I understand the whole 'denying the thing even exists' because when I get over it I feel like I was just teasing everyone and I was the only one who could decide weather or not to feel better..

Ive never been so extreme as you though, I hope ur doing. and this stamp is just great. and reminds me the same.
hollyhunny Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love what this stamp stands for and some people are stupid wanting it because they think it's cool. I became aware of this disorder about a year ago because a girl I knew has it but because of all the hate people who think they may genuinly possibly have it get I'm afraid to ask my doctors incase people think I'm seeking attention. I'm not flaming in any way just voicing an opinion.
jadedPhotographer Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012   Photographer
Bipolar may not be black and white, but bpd is.
Wait... a stamp dd? :iconxzibitplz:
hiritai Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012
I wasn't really talking about bpd, I have no idea about it personally ^^;

But yeah, a stamp dd wtf. I was just as weirded out, but whatevs, not my choice lol.
jadedPhotographer Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012   Photographer
Bipolar is kids stuff compared to bpd.
I have both. :iconfyeahplz:
hiritai Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
I think it depends on the person :/ Thanks for belittling people everywhere.
jadedPhotographer Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012   Photographer
JPdotty Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Student Photographer
I think I'm in love with you. So eloquent. Finally someone who explains it all so very very well.
Thank you. Mind if I copy your description and send it to my 'friends' who pretend to understand but have no clue?
BroomWoman Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you SO MUCH for not only making this stamp, but also sharing your story. I was diagnosed a little to late. I had some really bad episodes, but everything went to hell, and I ended up running away from school for a few hours, which I am now ashamed of. But I was so distraught with mania, not sleeping for days, and family issues that I just bolted. I was found by my best friend and her mother, who drove me back to school where a policeman was. I started sputtering and screaming and crying about how things were so bad (not just then, but for a long while) that I thought I had lost all sanity. That act feels like a stain that will never go away, and I wasn't even diagnosed until awhile after that. It wasn't until a suicide attempt that I went to see a psychiatrist. Since then I've been hospitalized twice and the nurses at my school know me by name, but I feel much better now. All in all, it's really nice to hear that there are people out there like me, too. I don't have to feel alone and maybe people will understand now about manic depression.
adisoicey Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
fellow bipolar survivor...[link]
Ninasy Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I'm not sure if I'm bipolar or not but I feel like I do.I don't think laughing all to yourself then cry hysterically 10 minutes later and later dancing in the room shortly after that is considered normal.I used to think that its just a part of me who likes to feel horrible or maybe my hormonal imbalance.There were times where I suddenly feel like shaking the whole table with rage and feel pissed out of no reason at all.Both my grandmother and my mum have anxiety and I heard that bipolar is somewhat related to that disorder. Though I don't think mine is severe but I think it's there |: bipolar is bipolar right? I've been handling my own episodes since I was 15 and none of my family members or friends know about it.No matter how many times I try to say that I don't feel normal to my friends they just keep shrugging it off like as if I'm making a big deal out of it. I just don't know which part of crying about others dying or and my death is something that can be shrugged off.
buriedalive00 Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. I havent been diagnosed with bipolar, but all the symptoms are there, and so many people in my family have been diagnosed with it, or some other mental disorder, than ignoring that I have it is wrong and to be quite blunt, stupid.
I have a hard time explaining to people that bipolar isn't just going from being really happy, to really sad. I'm glad someone else understands that as well. :nods:
posionqueen Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011
its grey
AgentBabycakes Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
My grandmama may have had bipolar disorder* and it definitely was no joke. There's this really moody, really mean girl at my school, and people refer to her as bipolar. Now, I'll admit, the girl is pretty messed up (definitely mentally ill and possibly plum insane), but that still offends me. I went through a bad period after the previously mentioned grandmama died, where my emotions were all over the place, and I was accused of being bipolar. Now I suspect they may be right (I'm 99.9% sure I'm somewhat mentally ill), but still, it's a little presumptuous of them. They were seventh graders, not psychiatrists.

*We never got an official diagnosis, but the woman was definitely mentally ill and she had some shades of bipolar disorder. She may have also had depression.
AngeliqueRaindrops Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2011
Why, hello there! :meow:
Your stamp has been featured in my latest article, Lay All Your Love On Me. I would appreciate it, if you could check it out and fave the article, when you have a moment. :+favlove: Please & thank you. :) Enjoy your week!

celexana Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I also suffer with Bipolar Disorder from my teen years, although not diagnosed at the time until in
my early 20s. I couldn't understand the roller coaster of moods each day....I'd be calm one minute and then get into a rage....I used to throw things across the room and burst into tears. To make friends has always been a challenge because I would end up the non-feeling, stone heart phase which makes for withdrawal into my shell. I tell my girlfriend, who suffers with depression and would understand, "No one understands what I go through!" in utter despair. It's hard enough to feel alone while going through the depressive episodes and it's hard enough to "feel normal" around other people. And then the distorted thoughts comes along....thinking my best friends are my enemies and that they want to destroy me for some reason. I have the good days and for me if I can get through ONE day without exploding about something(even a little thing) or not weep about something(any little thing)...then I can breathe a sigh of relief! The medications never did work, I tried 13 different ones....(I have a list somewhere!). Well, it's not an illness for the faint of heart because it is what I have become and have learned to accept and not beat myself about not being like everyone else....and really, I'm not going to compare myself to anyone either...not anymore.
uglyduckbella Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2010  Student General Artist
sometimes I fav art just because of the story behind it. This is one of those peices. your story has touched me :)
Mongrelistic Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2010   General Artist
My mother has this disorder... ended up in a lot of things happening when I was very young (some of which I don't remember, but stories have been told), and some episodes through the past few years. I always get defensive for people with this(and really any other) mental illness when they're lectured and/or attacked for it.

This is a beautiful stamp, thank you for creating it and being very informative. (:
MachikoChan Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression I 7th grade...Its not the same as being Bipolar I know, but I basically get the same treatment :(

Its hard to deal with on your own...but sometimes people's sympathy isn't enough....
Xxrosi-chanxX Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2010
Thank you so much for sharing this. People need to hear about the reality of bipolar.
acid--rainbow Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2010
I know the feeling... bipolar disorder sucks. It has been the cause of many of my problems, both personal and social.
Banished-Dreams Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2010
Thank you for sharing your story with us. <3
PastelPaintPrincess Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
This is a perfect idea and concept. Thankyou so much for this <3
ThisBonelessOne Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2010
BEing BiPolar isn't fun as I know from personal experience with this disease.
unBeautifulCreature Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2010
Bi-polar disorder is a horrible and energy-sucking disease, I think. I think I can understand you (and all the others). I'm suffering from recurrent depressive disorder. This seems to be the same as bi-polar, but without manic episodes. And at the clinic I was untill today, they told me, that I'll never be really healthy again in my life. I will fall into episodes of depression again and again. :/ That's not cool. I can't understand how someone can find it cool to have a mental disorder... It's not cool at all. It's suffering. And in the worst case it destroys your whole life.
Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately youtube already deleted the video... -.-
bilious-green-clouds Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010

i saw in the tabloids that megan fox said she has 'ocd' about using publick bathrooms and such, and several people [including a pyschologist] have shot her down saying that she's 'fearful of contamination.'

i know several people who claim that they have one thing, but really have the possiblity of having another.

my aunt, who has now passed, was bipolar. during a manic episode she was set a house on fire and was arrested for it. there's lot of things that she's done that was the result of her disorder and how medication affected [effected?] her.

now i'm being told that i could have the lesser from of bipolar disorder [i forget how to spell it. cyclothmic?], and it's just scary to think about. i doubt that i do, as i've been feeling fine in the last month.

i just hate that so many people, mainly younger teens, take these things as jokes and throw their so called 'diagnoses' around like it's nothing. other people get so sympathetic and give them all kinds of the wrong attention for it, and then when someone who does have a disorder comes out, people just put them down and say that they're joking.

it's wrong.
bilious-green-clouds Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2010

DAnnsCreations Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2010  Professional Artisan Crafter
*twirls back into a cave* I love that.... exactly how I feel some times. :blowkiss: I too was diagnosed "early" with Manic depression, obsessive, compulsion... I called it crazy, made things easier for me to deal with. Hated being on amitriptelene, lithium and a variety of other drugs I can't even remember. I was deemed "lucky" as wellbuterin, my happy pill and valium, a small sleeping pill, seems to, so far, balance me out so I can function instead of .... well, I bet you have your own tales to tell. :cuddle: It is just better knowing there are others out there, and not all of us commit suicide, like all my Aunts and Uncles have done. We learn to cope.
Blessings of Life and love to you! :blowkiss:
MoonDolly5 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I just spent a couple of hours watching the whole 12 episodes. Stephen Fry is even more amazing than I thought he was.
I have my own battles with anxiety and depression and live a very quiet and sedate life to keep it under control.
Good luck with battling this illnes, or more to the point finding peace with it so you can enjoy life. :hug:
Pink-Poogleh Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2010
My own little brother was diagnosed with Bi-Polar 1 when he was little. For some reason, I haven't been checked on, even though it is very likely that I have some form of bi-polar. I would have horrible episode all through my school years. From weeks of being happy, then months of just being down in the dumps. I went and got my GED partially because nobody in high school gave a rat's behind about how I was feeling. As long as I wasn't a threat to other students, I was fine.

tl;dr, life sucks. Bi-polar is different for everybody, diagnosed or not.
Zzombieluv Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for sharing this. All sorts of lovely diseases run through my family. I've just been diagnosed as add and that doesn't even scratch the surface. Sometimes I am embarrassed to admit that I am bipolar, but things like these keep me going.
yoruichimeow Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010
I have some very close family members who've suffered through bipolar diagnoses. Both of them were somewhat later than the norm, in their mid- to late-twenties. My family still doesn't talk about it much. I think you're brave for sharing this, thank you.
Crazymeau Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I found you again! I read this the other night and forgot to book mark it because I was watching the Stephen Fry doco's. Anyway, I have you fave'd now! Thanks so much for sharing. The docos (were SCARY!) but I needed to watch them. Thanks again :)
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