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June 5, 2010
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Bipolar is not black and white by hiritai Bipolar is not black and white by hiritai
Bipolar disorder has been a struggle with me since my early teens. I've been all over. From admission to hospital, to even denying the damn disorder existed.

When I was fourteen, for a good while, I thought everyone thought I was on drugs. It's was irrational and exaggerated, and I ended up running away from school midway through a science class, flailing and screaming like I was on something. I had teachers chasing after me, and one of them ended up finding me hiding in a park. My dad came and got me, and we walked home together. He'd ridden his bike from work to pick me up. I'll never forget how calm he was about it. Probably because this kind of thing happened a lot.

A few months later I was in hospital on suicide watch.

I missed the tenth grade. My attendance record was abandoned, and I passed out of sympathy.

This example of my experience is shadowed by millions of lives. Fortunately I was incredibly lucky and had contsant support and a *cough* reasonably early diagnosis. It can take years for a correct diagnosis and treatment. For example, if diagnosed with depression, as so many of us were, anti depressants can actually induce manic episodes. Treatment can make things better or worse.

Stephen Fry did a great documentary, The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive. You can watch it here. Sharing you own personal experience also helps others to share theirs, and can paint a better picture and understanding, not just for those without the illness, but for those just looking to understand their illness, and how others might deal with it.

I think we've screamed 'You don't understand!' more times than we've liked to. So please understand that bipolar can be much more than simple up and downs, and, like ever mental illness, that each case is different. It is not funny or cool, or an excuse to be hyperactive or bitchy.

Sharing my personal experience is not meaning to sound arrogant, I'm simply sharing it to prove a point, as my experience is the most valid one I know considering the context. Sympathy is not something that cures anything, but please do try to understand that people with mental illnesses are each different people with different opinions. We are not all the same, and justly are not affected the same, or accept it the same.

*twirls back into a cave*
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Daily Deviation

Given 2010-06-19
Bipolar is not black and white by =hiritai makes a statement that everyone should understand. Bipolar-ism is not a black and white disease. Days can very from very good to very bad. Not everyone is the same or handles the disorder the same way and people need to realize that as well.

[dA related > Deviant Stamps] ( Suggested by kyofanatic1 and Featured by ginkgografix )
pokepall Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Student Artist
I TOTALLY understand I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 4. (I'm 17 now and i will be 18 in 9 months)
Sparky-the-Scraggy Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have BiPolar also.... IT really isn't fun, especially when I'm at my major lows, crying like a fucking baby on my bed and wondering why no one else is awake at 3 AM to talk to me when I'm depressed, staring at my pill bottle of BiPolar and Depression pills that I'm still not taking....
It's not fun, funny or anything of the sort.
Diversitalia Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I may not have the disorder myself, but that doesn't make me less sympathetic or empathetic for those who do. It is a difficult thing to live with. :(
monkeyrockla Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It really isnt
okbrightstar Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If only it was black and white, things would be so much more straight forward. I was diagnosed a year ago thanks to a psychotic break that landed me in hospital for three weeks. I'm still learning to come to grips with it. Thank you for posting this :)
wideawa18 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
The sad truth is that it's tough to distinguish unipolar from bipolar depression and vice versa. Mania is a bit more obvious, but could still be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. What makes it even more tricky is that bipolar disorder emerges typically during the late teen or young adult years, but kids can have it too. (How do you tell whether your kid is suffering from bad parenting or a psychological disorder?)
I do think that the mental health system could use some drastic improvements. It needs better funding and organization to learn about treatments and reach people who need it. And as a patient, I hate it when hospital staff treat you like a five year old. Some hospitals and psychiatrists are better than others.
CatalystSpark Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012   General Artist
If only more understood this. "It's all in your head, you can change it!" . . .yea, right, they wouldn't say that if they lived just one day in our shoes. We don't want pity, pity is a crutch, but, we do need understanding. . .society seems no longer able to tell the two apart. . .
blackwolfjashinist Featured By Owner May 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I hate when my bipolar acts up ,and I had to go to the hospital ,because a voice in my head was telling me to kill myself. I hate one of my friends now ,because she lies about commiting suicide. My friends say they are bipolar to ,but they don't. They don't know what it's like being afraid of yourself ,and wondering who your going to hurt next ,and never knowing if the voice will return. They dont know how it feels to find out you fabricated memories ,because you were so sad ,or being afraid you'll hurt yourself. I'm afraid of who I've become. I've gotten more irritable ;because my medicine isnt fully kicked in ,and scared my friend by saying something that was so true it scared me. I hate what this disease has done to me ,and I hate who I've become.
hikikomorihime Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Here's another good link: [link]

I have a hard time getting people too understand. A lot of my friends self-diagnose themselves with it, because they are all, "OMG, I have moodswings too!" But it's not that simple. It's not like I'm oh gee happy one moment sad the next. It's like, for weeks/months/more I'll be either in a deep pit of depression unable to do many simple daily tasks for myself. Then there is the other side of the coin, where for weeks/months/more I'll be off the walls, euphoric, paranoid, flights of thought and ideas that all seem amazingly great at the time. I do stupid things, from blowing money, to the point that I can no longer be in charge of my own money. I have a power of attorney who handles things for me, due to the fact I've gotten in some financial trouble during manic episodes...

I've been accussed of just being "hyperactive" or "bitchy" by my terrible terrible friends before, but they don't understand, I'm not really feeling hyperactive or bitchy. I'm either feeling like a complete lack of control, or I just short tempered because I'm so miserable and I just want to kill myself and I'm constantly having to fight that urge. They don't even know how OCD works. They watched that damn Monk show, and that makes them experts. Never mind the fact that I've been diagnosed with OCD because I OBSESSIVELY think about suicide, picturing various ways I'd do it... and then COMPULSIVELY clean and organize to keep from acting on said obsessive thoughts.

Of course, almost all of them are armchair shrinks, with pretend degrees from the university of google/wikipedia/webmd/etc. So that means they get to go around diagnosing people, and challenging diagnoses made by our doctors.
rubyrouge649 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sadly, I used to think that it was black and white. Thank goodness I researched about the disorder before jumping to any more conclusions :+fav:
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